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Question Details Asked By Asked On
I want to help my sister Hafza 10/23/07
    I am living in a western country with my just my
    > husband. Last year my sister came to live with us in
    > order to pursue higher studies. My husband and I
    > tried
    > to be very caring and loving towards her. My husband
    > treated her like his real sister and took extreme
    > care
    > of her. Incidentally I came across some obscene text
    > messages in my sister's mobile, the messages were
    > from
    > some boy. I confronted her but she made excuses and
    > didnt admit. I informed my parents back home (India)
    > that my sister is involved with some boy. My husband
    > and I got quite worried about her but she began to
    > insist that she doesnt want to live with me anymore
    > as
    > she felt I didnt trust her.
    >
    > She quarelled with my parents and me and was quite
    > verbally abusive to my parents. eventually my
    > parents
    > agreed to her stubborness and now she lives alone in
    > a
    > hostel. I constantly fear that she might be living
    > with that boy in that hostel. The western culture
    > doesnt see this as a bad thing but I grieve for her
    > that she doesnt realise this is a major sin. I feel
    > very guilty that I couldnt stop my sister from
    > sinking
    > into this horrible path. On top of this I get
    > pressurized from my husband we have started to have
    > arguments. My sister comes to visit us on some
    > weekends and now my husband cannot tolerate that she
    > comes to stay with us sometimes for weekends. He is
    > angry with her because she didnt appreciate our love
    > and care for her and instead chose that boy. He
    > wants
    > me to rarely see her, to ignore her and not to care
    > for her like before so that my sister realises the
    > value of family.
    > On the other hand my mother requests me to be kind.
    > gentle and loving towards my sister so that the love
    > of family will attract her and pull her away from
    > the attractions of that boy. I am confused I dont know if I should listen to my husband or my mother. I dont know how to make my husband understand that she is my sister and my heart bleeds for her. I feel helpless. And I am heart broken that my husband hates my sister now

      Clarification/Follow-up by ladybugca on 10/27/07 12:31 am:
      the only thing you can do with him is pray he lets up on her and back him in what he feels. he is the man of the house and you know how they can be if you try and step over him.he sounds like he is a good man so just give him time and he will forgive her

      Clarification/Follow-up by Hafza on 10/28/07 7:40 pm:
      Thank you so much dear sister, you are absolutely right about what you said. My sister will come to visit us next weekend, all this while she hasnt come ever since my husband and I had argued, so I am praying to Allah that my husband will step up and be the bigger person. I also pray to Allah to show the right path to my sister Ameen.

      Thank you so much for your kind words, may God bless your home too

 
Summary of Answers Received Answered On Answered By Average Rating
1. i know how you are feeling and it hurts to see your sister d...
 10/23/07 ladybugcaAbove Average Answer
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