Clarification/Follow-up by Rhinestone on 02/02/06 1:10 pm:
Hi,

I don't think that there really is peace within your family. It appears that everyone in your family handles conflict in a passive-aggressive fashion - where there appears to be peace on the surface, but not under the surface. I think dealing with things directly gets everything out in the open. I could see why you were frustrated with your brother ignoring what you had to say - he didn't want to hear what was on your mind, probably because he was sided with your sister-in-law. I think writing to your sister-in-law to express and state your feelings wasn't necessarily the problem...it was probably the fact that you said you could NEVER forgive her or EVER be friends. Even the best friend in the world, can slip up, and it could be that she felt she had your best interests at heart. How did your parents react to the information that you were smoking? I'm not sure what your age is, so that would be a factor in how they react, I don't know. Without knowing your true family dynamics, I can't be sure of her true motive in telling them. If she did it as a malicious act to cause problems then that is entirely different issue to begin with. Either way, you're going to have to try and talk to your brother, if he is not receptive, then I would say he is a close-minded on the issue. Also, you could try and tell them the truth diplomatically - you found it very upsetting, that you still care for them, and are willing to work things out because you value the relationship, then leave it up to them.

Best regards,

Rhinestone