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walker asked on 08/18/04 - The End How do you know when your marriage is over?When is it okay to move on? Fr_Chuck answered on 08/21/04: There is never a clear answer. First I would say it is never over till the divorce is final, Since I beleive one should not be married and still moving on. But if you are still togehter, or still talking, a couple should go and get professional counseling, it can really change your life. walker rated this answer

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steam asked on 07/18/04 - divorce What is a pre nap agreement? What is a contested divorce? Fr_Chuck answered on 07/19/04: I will guess you are speaking of a pre nuptual agreement. It is an agreement that is made prior to marriage in which the terms of any divorce or seperation is spelled out prior to the wedding. Normally done if one party or both have large amounts of income, property, and/or other items that they may want to protect in case of divorce. A contested divorce would be one where one party disagrees or contests one or more parts of the divorce filing of the other party. Many times it will be over child custody, child support, property settlement and the such. steam rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 06/02/04 - male erections my husband looses his erection momentarily when we are together. He told me the other day this makes him feel 'unmanly' I think it only happens when he is working on my orgasm. what should I say? Fr_Chuck answered on 06/12/04: Just an added note, if your husband would like to email me, I would be glad to discuss this with him. Fr_Chuck@hotmail.com Anonymous rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 06/02/04 - male erections my husband looses his erection momentarily when we are together. He told me the other day this makes him feel 'unmanly' I think it only happens when he is working on my orgasm. what should I say? Fr_Chuck answered on 06/03/04: Many factors from stress to many medications, including over the couter items, that can cause problems. Erection problems of all sorts happens to the majority of men at times, because of medical reasons and as they grow older. The first thing you husband should do is consult with a doctor, a complete physical may uncover a hiden issue. And then of course there are many prescripion drugs that help with male erections. And they do work very greatly. The main problem with feeling "unmanly" is that the next time, he will start worrying and each time it happens, it will cause him more and more stress, that makes it worst the next time. Anonymous rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 03/24/04 - What to tell or not to tell the wife I have been involved with a married man for a few years (on an irregular basis) I did not know he was married and he has always denied that he has ever been married. What is ok to tell the wife and what is not ok to tell the wife? I know he cheats on her as much as he can. He has several women friends but he tells me he doesn't hook up with them....I doubt it very much. Fr_Chuck answered on 03/27/04: I was just wanting you to know, that in two days, she will sit down and it will all click, but when you are telling her, she will want to first deny it, then blame everyone but him. It is a commom response, you will be to her the "evil of satan" hisself. She will be glad latter to know the truth, but just expect to be cursed and hated in the short term. Anonymous rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 03/24/04 - What to tell or not to tell the wife I have been involved with a married man for a few years (on an irregular basis) I did not know he was married and he has always denied that he has ever been married. What is ok to tell the wife and what is not ok to tell the wife? I know he cheats on her as much as he can. He has several women friends but he tells me he doesn't hook up with them....I doubt it very much. Fr_Chuck answered on 03/26/04: The real question is do you tell her at all. While I am not comming down on you, it is hard for me to understand not knowing he was married. Home phone numbers not given? no home address, or told not to come to his home? After my wife passed away, when I started dating again, beng able to call the home telephone was like the number one thing almost all the ladies wanted. If this man is cheating on his wife that much, she deserves to know, and know everything. It will not be a pretty discussion, expect to be blamed by her, but then it will help give you closure and let you move one Anonymous rated this answer

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Hanen asked on 02/28/04 - Marriage Selam! I have a question wich I am always thinkng about it. Last year I went away with a boy I loved and we married. I didnt told my parents about this. When we married he didnt told all people. Only his family and some people knew about this. And in our marriage day when we did nikah, no (shouhoud) were there. Now my parents know about this and I have a son. Is our marriage accepted in Islam or not? Fr_Chuck answered on 03/02/04: I am no expect at all in this, and not sure of a Islam expert on the marriage site. This would best either to be asked perhaps on the Islam site ( I think there is one off of the religion board) but your local religious leader would be the very best bet. Becuase there are dozens of sects in Islam, many very more strick in relgionious laws than others,

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rare1 asked on 02/15/04 - HELP! I'm Not Romantic Hi, I need help! I've been with my fiancé for 5yrs now and we are happy. We are best friends and spend all our non-work time together. However, she feels that there is no romance in our relationship. I sometimes buy her flowers and I write her poetry, but that's about as creative as I ever get. What are some romantic ideas of stuff women like? Any help is great help. Thanks, RARE Fr_Chuck answered on 02/16/04: OK, now you did not mention what you can or can't afford so there will some ideas of differnt natures. A suprise date ? Arrange to be at her work place when she is getting off, have her a bag already packed and rush her away to a private get away Leave her a note or love letter at her work place ( will take the work of a co-worker) leave it where she will not find it till alittle latter in the day. If she has a great understanding boss ( there are a few) and if you have one too, arrange a romatic lunch for two at a near by restraunt. Love can be fun, once I hired a few musicans to come over around dinner time and play for us as we ate. We lived in the county, and instead of the horse and wagon like they have in Central park, I had my friend bring over his mules and a wagon ( with some ribbons on it) for a evening ride. ( funny but she loved it) rare1 rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 11/06/03 - about an affair I was involved in an affair with a married woman(colleague)for few months before my marriage. she loves her husband and it happened while she was lonely and she admitted that she has developed love towards me also.befor this happened i used to like her as a freind but gradually got ivolved. but after my marriage i have never met her in private.although i may have some feelings for her i am happy with my wife now and lover her truly.she also is happy with her husband as i understand.her husband is also a good freind of mine.i however have strong feelings of guilt. should i tell my wife which might make things worse. although she calls me occasionally i try to avoid her. what is the best course of action.should i completely exclude her. i have also not spoken to her husband for a long time. how do i appraoch this problem Fr_Chuck answered on 11/06/03: Of course before you got married would be the best time. While I do beleive in honesty, this was before you got married nad you have not done anything wrong since. What you do need to do is really stop having contact with the person you had the affair with. This many times meaning breaking old friendships and the such, but you need to break contact and memories of this. Confessing and still having contact with this person will lead to arguements and mistrust. Not confessing and still seeing this person will look like you are hiding more actions. And regardless, people will never really know for sure what your feelings are if you are still in contact with this person. Anonymous rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 07/02/03 - Cultural or not??? Hallo, I am a Swedish woman living in Sweden. Two years ago I met an American man, and he proposed to me a month go. We decided to get married this summer. I was so happy. Over a night HE deciced to move back to US, and when I asked when we were going to get married, he said that we had to postpone it because he was going to search for a job. In my ears it sounded like he had changed his mind about the marriage. I couldn't come with him to US because of the money reason. When I asked when we were going to get married he had no answer, and when I pressed him, he said that there were no guarantee that we would get married. Here in Sweden we see like he broke the engagement and my family says the same. He says that the engagement is not broken and his family agrees with him that he did the right thing who postponed the wedding when he was going back to US. He claims that this is a cultural thing and that in US you do like this, but in my (and my families) ears it sounds like a bad way to get away and cancel the wedding. He also says that when he proposed the proposal had conditions, which was related to his job (which I didn't know anything about because he didn't mention any conditions) What do you say???? Fr_Chuck answered on 07/02/03: First why did he deside to move back? Why did you not merely marry before he moved? Sorry but sounds like he has no plan to bring you over, and no plan to get married. If a couple is truely in love, no distance will keep them apart. I don't know how much a ticket costs ( one way) to come to the US, but if he was really wanting you, he would be saving money for that ticket ( and you would too) you both would even borrow money to get that ticket so you can be together. Sorry but personally to my, and this is just my personal opinion, he moved, and made the choice to move on with his perosnal life also. How often does he email you back and forth, several times a day. Do you do on line chats every day. When my wife and I have to be apart, we always do. If he was truely in love, you should still be able to tell.

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curiousz asked on 11/21/02 - the right one how does one choose between looks and personality? i know i know that people say looks are temp and its whats inside that counts for long run, but what about sexual passion? doesn that account for keeping a marriage good for a long time as well? or does the "mental" passion (ugh) really enough to keep the sexual passion together? bec i dont see that right now... and I am 30 Fr_Chuck answered on 06/29/03: sex and looks are not really related, ugly people have sex too. And no sex has little to do with keeping a relationship going for a long time. Just pretend the other person gains 50 lbs, gets skin cancer on thier face and has a sexual illness where they can't have sex again ever. You are stil married to them, so who do you want to still be married to? If you can't say you like that person as a person, if you don't believe they are a true friend above all things, curiousz rated this answer

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jessicaa asked on 02/22/03 - gettin g a divorce i dont know if anyone here is an attonery or not,my friend has been trying to get a civorce for four years and his wife wont sign the papers, now she is in a nursing home and still wont sign the papers,he was told that once they were seperated for a year he could get a divorce without her signing,he lives in flordia and they have the no fault divorce there,also does that one year seperation consist of him not seeing her at all and does his visits at the nursing home count, thank you so much for your help Fr_Chuck answered on 06/29/03: Getting a contested divorce is never easy and can take years to get. They will have to hire an attorney, file papers in court, wait for a court date, ( most likely re-set many times) appear before a judge, follow any court ordered things. Then finally, the judge may order the divorce. It is not easy and always costly. jessicaa rated this answer

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stiamo_bene_insieme asked on 05/20/03 - catholic marriages Hello. I' writing a paper on marriages and since I don' go to church I am wondering if you could answer a few questions which I can include in my paper. 1) I researched programs such as Retrouvaille and Smart Marriages. These programs help troubled marriages. Would you suggest couples to try this program? 2) What steps should engaged couples take prior to getting married? 3) What the church' rules for getting married? 4) What would be one thing you would tell an engaged couple? Thank you very much for your time. Francesca S. Fr_Chuck answered on 06/29/03: Programs and systems are not really worth anything unless the couple really want to work out thier problems. Both have to be willing to forgive and accept the faults in thier partners. If they are willing to do that almost any system will help bring them closer together. There is no magic cure or program to help a couple that are not willing to work together on thier problems. 2. Don't marry because of sexual attraction, sex needs and desires change over time, physical appearances change with time ( and normally not kindly) You have to like and be friends with the person. Then the rest is just part of a happy relationship. So don't rush into it, never do it on a rebound and don't expect to ever change your partner, what you got now, is what you will have in two years. 3. it is for life, you should do it only once. And both parties have to be willing to make a commitment. ( but hey, that is how it was always suppose to be) 4. If you are having problems now, hold off marriage and work out those issues, putting the ring on a finger, does not make some magic cure stiamo_bene_insieme rated this answer

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Anonymous asked on 06/23/03 - Getting married soon Hello all, I will be married after 1 month from now, i would like to get some advices on how i should eat, sleap etc... there will be lot of parties everyday before so i need to be relaxed when the time comes. Thank you Fr_Chuck answered on 06/29/03: lJust be yourself in all things. Don't over party, even if you feel obligated. If you are not yourself, you are doing no one any good., Anonymous rated this answer