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These are answers that katiy has provided in Emotional Wellbeing

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 09/10/06 - How do you cope with the sexual abstinence??

It's been three months since I had sex for the last time.I don't know why I miss it but it's not genuine, I can't explain the reason either.Most of my past relationships were bad,I've never had an orgasm but I miss the male contact. The last time I had was more than three months ago.I see teh news, the media saying:"Sex make you happy", "You need sex to have a heatlh life", but *G* what can I do if I don't have a mate,and I don't want to go out to get one at pubs or discos...I don't like masturbation.I know my question is difficult,in fact, I'm sharing.

katiy answered on 09/11/06:

Stop reading crap. Sex doesn't make anyone happy. It's just the same old in and out. If it brought lasting happiness, then after once, why would we need anymore?

You aren't missing being humilated, shy, embarrassed, funky diseases are you?

If you are doing fine without it, quit worrying about it. Be glad to be rid of it.

Peruse the female toys that are out there.

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keenu rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 05/27/06 - Male orgasm

Hello!i don't know if I should post it here or in the Sexuality forum.
But I think something about well being is here.I went out with a man with whom I had had sex before(three times).We had normal intercouse, he ejaculated, everything normal.
This last time, he seemed to be feeling desire, we had sex for a long time, but we had to stop...he didn't ejaculate...he was feeling desire, I know.But I
felt so undervalued as a woman...I thought it was me, my vagina...oh I don't know!!!When I was leaving he kissed me and got erected again,but I had to go to work.I felt an strange emptiness in this sexual act.We had all types of sex between a man and a woman(oral,anal,vaginal)...we got one hour there,non-stopping...

katiy answered on 06/05/06:

You never know what he was doing before you arrived. Or whom he was talking to, or looking at, etc.

Men don't operate the way you do.

Stop doing too much, too soon. Leave a little more mystery.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 05/27/06 - Male orgasm

Hello!i don't know if I should post it here or in the Sexuality forum.
But I think something about well being is here.I went out with a man with whom I had had sex before(three times).We had normal intercouse, he ejaculated, everything normal.
This last time, he seemed to be feeling desire, we had sex for a long time, but we had to stop...he didn't ejaculate...he was feeling desire, I know.But I
felt so undervalued as a woman...I thought it was me, my vagina...oh I don't know!!!When I was leaving he kissed me and got erected again,but I had to go to work.I felt an strange emptiness in this sexual act.We had all types of sex between a man and a woman(oral,anal,vaginal)...we got one hour there,non-stopping...

katiy answered on 05/28/06:

E. D.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 05/26/06 - Contacting exes

Whenever I feel sad,I try to get in touch with my exes.I call them, and I regret later.One of them(that I don't love) we were just talking and he said:"It's better to be friends from now on"...I mean, we were just talking on line....

katiy answered on 05/27/06:

If you keep contacting them, then I guess they aren't really exes are they? They are more like old friends.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
mal_austin asked on 04/10/06 - islamic

surat Alhijr from quran;
it is have set out the zodiacal signs in the heavens,and made them fair-seeming;and(moreover) we have guarded them from every evil spirit accursed;but any that gains a hearing by stealth, is pursued by a flaming fire,bright(to see).the "flaming fire" is described by mufasser as a star meteor. however,scientifically, star or meteor,would have certain orbit. but an angel shooting the shaitan would imply "a flaming fire" coming out suddenly,out of the blue.how do you explain this phenomenon?

katiy answered on 04/11/06:

Thank you for sharing. There is much to ponder in that ideology. I don't often have the opportunity to learn about the Quran.

Question/Answer
mal_austin asked on 04/10/06 - self-affirmation

in psychology, it is a well known fact that one can change oneself thru self-affirmation. some experts beleive that self-affirmation to the subconcious mind is best done in an "already achive mode". for example, a student who is weak in mathematics and wish to improve on it should say the self-affirmstions as "i asm excellent at mathematics". this is so that the subconscious mind is set with positive intended goal and thus will program the whole body with message. but the question is that such self-affirmation is not the truth(or not thruth yet) and will be against one's own conscience. would it not better to make affirmation in the present as "i am getting better and better in matchematics" ? what is your comment? please state whatever evidences or experience that you know as well.

katiy answered on 04/11/06:

Language is a word to world fit. Your word, creates your world. So, I create powerful interpretations. I am well versed in creating powerful affirmations. The language creates a new future for you to live into, not based on who you were in the past.

"Better" is a compensatory mechanism for "There's something wrong here".

For example, I recently told someone that I was great with math, and they responded that they never hear anyone say that, actually it was a math teacher.

At some point people usually have a break in their being around such things as sports, art, math and science. As a 7 year old it's easy to say, I can't do it, I can't do it right, I'm no good at that. However, I'm a few years older now, I can make new choices.

I learn math with ease! Math is fun! More math, more money. Math inspires me!

ª + 2 = 4, and 5 will get you 10, if you know how to work it right"! Mae West

Question/Answer
Jesushelper76 asked on 02/26/06 - Hello!

Powderpuff, I was not saying that anybody should be chased off the board, but if Hank really wants to leave, let him.

If Hank, continues his path of talking down to people I prefer not to be around that. We all have to deal with each other no matter what though.

Joe

katiy answered on 03/08/06:

I hope he doesn't leave!

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Question/Answer
Answerway asked on 03/01/06 - Answerway.com Notice

For those of you from the Christianity board, do not pollute any other board in the same manner that you know is not allowed. The last post here, if it were on the Christianity board, would have been dealt with in the strictest possible way. However, this is a one time notification on this board... please do not cross the line again here or any other board.

For those of you who may not know towards what this notice refers, please make sure that any discussion about fellow experts or non-topic related gossip and posts are done on the "Discussion Forum" and not in the public question board. You may simply click on the link near the top of the page "Click here for the Discussion Forum" and it will lead you to the appropriate section. These question boards are for valid topic related questions only. If you have any queries about this or anything else, please feel free to send us a feedback report and we will gladly help. Thank you.

katiy answered on 03/08/06:

Thanks for the professional consideration.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 03/07/06 - Untraditional behavior

I have a relative that is 24 years old. In 2000, his clean was clear with a few pimples. He since then has developeded large darker spots on his skin all over his face. It is not practical that he would whether have those brown spots instead of pimples.

He asked for some tea tree oil about 3 weeks ago. Around 1998, the dermatologist told him he had overused it and burned his skin.

I gave him the tea tree oil because I thought he was planning to stopped what treatment he was using and was trying a more natural way, but wouldn't overuse it this time.

Since then his skin has gotten worse.

I am concerned about him because, I believe he created the darker spots on his face and they look terrible.

When he was in college, he once missed school for 1 1/2 weeks because he said he had too many pimples.

He doesn't like talking about his skin but he gets irritated when I talk to him about it.

I think of self multilation, but on the skin.

I have suggested that he go to a dermatologist or therapist.

Any opinions will be appreciate.

Thanks in advance.

katiy answered on 03/08/06:

If they are round spots, he could try tinactin spray, or an anti fungal product, not tea tree oil. It does nothing for a fungus.

On college campuses there is a health clinic, he can visit there cheaply. They can offer solutions.

Anonymous rated this answer Average Answer

Question/Answer
revdauphinee asked on 02/26/06 - Hymns for All Professions





Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the Promises
Optometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

katiy answered on 02/27/06:

Great gospel in those tunes!

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 02/17/06 - Move on

Why is it so hard to move on when we are left by someone?And when you find out this person has anotehr in his/her life?Did you go through this situation?? What did you do to let go?I need to let go inside,because i don't go after him.But it makes me suffer.

katiy answered on 02/18/06:

Find someone else. You have a lot of love to give. Better to spend it where someone else returns the feelings.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 02/07/06 - Relationship

I went out with a guy 'coz he insisted on it, I started falling for him and he went away after some dates,now I heard a gossip he is dating around.I''s been lots of days since he disáppeared and as incredible it may seem, when he was trying to go out with me he had said women weren't objects for him.I'm being strong to not call him and I disappeared too.A friend of mine told me if I call I'll be re-injuring myself again.Thanks dear friend.

katiy answered on 02/09/06:

No one is going to pay a high price for something that they already used. Next time, keep yourself priceless until you have a committment.

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Question/Answer
revdauphinee asked on 02/08/06 - request for prayers

Please pray that the person or persons that are burning churches(( so far in my neighbouring state alabama)come to there sences and stop this !

katiy answered on 02/09/06:

I am so sorry that is happening. Do you think it could be the Republicans doing this?

revdauphinee rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 01/14/06 - Internet- relationships

Does internet destroy relationships?I've heard many stories of jealousy and betrayal through it.

katiy answered on 01/14/06:

Sure, people lie all the time. Don't talk to strangers. It's all made up.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 12/18/05 - Regaining respect

Once you have sex with a man, can we find your way to gain the respect from this man again??He didn't commit with you(or once you surrender, the way is lost with this guy?).

katiy answered on 12/19/05:

Choux is right about that.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 12/17/05 - Repetitive behavior

Dear friends,
I always come here to aske for your help.I was reading my previous questions and I realized I always repeat the same kind of situations in my life with every new man.I did it so many times that your previous answer concerning to other men were perfectly appliccable to the moment I'm passing through now.They come to my life, I start fantasizing and when I realize they have sex with me and go away. I become depressive, weak, forget the rest of my life.It's acycle. When I am recovered, I don't feel anything for them anymore, and I new one appears, and everything starts again.That's so repetitive that your old answers concerning to other men fit perfectly now. A man who came to my life, and insisted on going out with me...and the rest...you know.

katiy answered on 12/17/05:

Join the club, it's happened a million times before it happened to you! That's why I say what I say. I can't have you avoid the hurt and agony I have been through with stuff like that, but that's what makes you a human being.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 12/08/05 - Book about relationships

There's a book called "he's not just that into you". It opens the women's eyes for men excuses to start, keep or break up. It tells you if the guy likes yu-he'll call you.It's easy. It's just to pick up the phone. If he only wants sex, if he doesn't want to assume the relationship...he has the answers for everything. "He's not just that into you", because if he were, you'd be the bright sunny light on his boring day. He'd tell everyone he loves you, wants you. Have you read about it? What's your opinion?

katiy answered on 12/08/05:

Sounds true.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 11/19/05 - Advice

I finally had accepted to go out with a guy and know him better. Just to find out that he was apparently only after sex- I realized he gives attention to other women also behind my back.Je used to send me messages and go after me before we went to bed.He gave me atttention the last date, but after the sex, we had some moments together, talking, and he hasn't called me yet. I 'm suspicious he went out with another woman. He sends her messages- and to others-I saw on his web page in a site. Now I'm feeling pain and I don't know what to do. He entered in my life in a moment I wasn't looking for a relationship. Now I want to forget him.I will see hi magian at work-part of his work is inspect my place as an officer, we met each other there.Thanks.

katiy answered on 11/19/05:

Now you know, next time, don't be so easy. Just ignore him and he will come to you.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 09/18/05 - Marriage

As I've never gotten married, I imagine how it would be. Under my point of view, sex has always been a hard issue. If a man loses erection,or can't keep a sex relation, the frequency, if one wants more sex than the other...what would be a happy sex life, in marrige? Is there a percentage? And how about feeling attracted to other people within a marriage?? Does it
mean the end of love??

katiy answered on 09/18/05:

Yes, there is all of that.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 09/15/05 - Out of control

Sometimes we see things we can't believe. I was waiting at the bus stop today when I saw a couple having an argument. They were both well dressed and had a good appearance. Suddenly, the woman statrd screaming, saying"that slut",etc. They were near a public phone. It was incredible what i saw! The man held her arm firmly and she said he was hurting him. There were many men around and they got just looking at the scene. The police car had passed by and they didn't see the worst. The woman got insane, and started hitting the public phone, damaging it. She was thin and short, but she got terribly strong. Can emotions drive us crazy this way, or a person who does it is ill?

katiy answered on 09/17/05:

She didn't realize that "That slut", was just a filter for dirt. When she cools down, she can thank "That slut" for filtering out the dirt in her life, and then she should just sweep the dirt away. She seems pretty calm to me, I would have done worse, just more secretively. I don't show my cards. I just watch and learn, later on, when the time is right, I react. That's what makes me so dangerous.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 09/10/05 - Workplace

How to work with a difficult person? A person whom you think is chasing you. I had a talk to him. I remained calm. He complained and I also complained, but we didn't have an argument nor shouted. May it help? He's one position above mine, although we both work for the government, which pays our salaries.

katiy answered on 09/12/05:

I think you send mixed signals. Even your communication about the situation is not clear.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/21/05 - Suicide

I'm doing this question in some boards. What do you think about suicide? Is it coward? I don't think so, the person who commits it has to have a lot of "courage". Don't worry, I'm just asking.

katiy answered on 09/06/05:

Permanent solution to a temporary problem.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/23/05 - End of Relationship

I don't know if this is the right forum, but I hope you can help, as my emotional wellbeing is not good right now. Last night my partner of six years left me and said she doesn't love me anymore, and has packed up and left the country on an extended holiday and she won't tell me where she is going. My question is, how does one cope in such a circumstance. The feeling of loss and not seeing her again is hurtful. I welcome your advice. Thanks.

katiy answered on 09/06/05:

How are things now?

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/23/05 - how can you stop the pain?

i need to know how does one stop the pain of lossing a marriage of 23years and then to have both mother and father very ill and dont have much longer to live and you cant go to be with them.but i do have another man in my life that i love with all my heart and soul,but i cant tell him how i am feeling.sometimes i wish i could make it all go away.i live 3000 miles from my family and i have no friends but my sweetheart.i know this sounds like i am feeling sorry for myself but i am not,this is what i deal with every day.i feel like it is eating me alive.i am so afraid of lossing my sweetheart because i feel like he dont understand just how i am feeling.dont get me wrong he is the best thing that has ever happen to me but i feel so alone in this what can i do?any answer will be good but please be nice.thanks!

katiy answered on 09/06/05:

I'll try and be nice for you.

I don't understand what caused you to be in this situation. You are suffering. You are not complete with the way things are. More needs to be communicated.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/26/05 - Men's preferences


In your opinion: do men prefer women who are hard to get?

katiy answered on 09/06/05:

Yes, they do.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 09/03/05 - Pain

Please, help. When someone you love( a son, a daughter), has serious problems(like a mental disturb, the person doesn't want to be helped, and is underage), what can you do? If the person screams, doesn't sleep, has cleaning mania...it seems you are living a nightmare and you can't touch him/her and hold because you are dirty under his/her point of view. The screams are horible, there is pain in the soul. I have to go to work but my hear is at home, as my child doens't go to school because of depression. Psychiatrists and psychologists are around, but she doesn't want to take the medicines.My life is horrible.

katiy answered on 09/06/05:

There is medicine for OCD. It can really, really help this situation. Yes, I had 2 children, that had to take medicine all the time, I had to force them to take it. If they didn't take it, they couldn't breath. Try giving it to the child in applesauce or with lemonade.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/30/05 - Overloaded

How to overcome a bad phase concerning to money problems without getting mad? And when you also have hamily problems, which is worse? And when you work in the mornings, afternoons and evenings- and you are so tired and stressed you think you're getting sick?
At least, I don't have to support a whole family, but I made some debts in my credit cards that I'll have to pay.If you were me, how would you cope?Thanks. Any advice is welcomed to face my life in a new point of view.

katiy answered on 09/05/05:

Read the book, The Richest Man in Babylon.

Start saving 10% of all you earn. Pay yourself first. Pay bills with the other 20% and live on 70%.

Get an accountant and get a budget.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/20/05 - Going out a lot or not?

A friend asked me and another friend if it's easier to find someone going out on the weekends to pubs and discos or only letting our lives flow. We both got astonished and couldn't answer her. What's your opinion?

katiy answered on 08/21/05:

Yes, it's pretty easy to find a drunk at a pub, that you can have sex with, that won't remember it the next day. So what. Do you really want to live like that? At what point do they stop. Better to find someone that lives like you do, and spend the time required.

My husband drank like a fish, do you know what it took to stop him.....do you want to find out....

ladybugca rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/20/05 - When you get older

When you get older...
When women do get older, how to live better? Youth is so overrated, but at the end all of us get old. I'm 32 now, I get home one the weekends, my friends tell me to go out otherwise I will get older and men won't pay attention at me anymore...
I feel like an urge.

katiy answered on 08/21/05:

My father was 80, blind, walked with a crutch, and he had women coming and going from his room. So if he can, you sure as heck can. Get going. Stop stopping yourself, and start inviting men to join you for lunch and dinner.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/20/05 - Younger men

There's a guy who is 24 and he is interested in me. But...I'm 32. He's a policeman, I am a teacher. He told me I look like 26, 27, and he couldn't tell I was 32. When he knew from a friend I was a single mom, he said :"No problem, I'll her to bring up her kid." And he started getting near, sent me messages, went to my job to talk to me. He's being very polite and he didn't try anything, he just asked me out. I told him I couldn't this weekend, so I postponed it to next week. In fact, I'm dalaying because I'm really in doubt. Young men may lose the interest quickly.I have problems at home, and a man should take a lot of effort to enter in my life and face all my family.
I know he doesn't have a high salary, he's a cop.
But he got my attention, with his handsome and male presence. Should I give him a chance?

katiy answered on 08/21/05:

My grandfather was 11 years younger than my grandmother, he died before she did. Almost all of the women in my family since the 1600's have married younger men.

As far as your salary goes, he knows you don't have a high salary, you're a teacher.

I have a man 20 years younger than me, pursuing me. I hate young men. I hate old men too.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/13/05 - Comparing yourself

Who's on top?, that's what I ask myself all the time. When I am with my older friends, I know I am. But when I am with a friend who has about my age, the same long hair as me, I get comparing myself, thinking if the men are going to look more at me or at her. And that's why I fear comparison. We went out once and men looked at me and at her. But as I fear comparison, I simply avoid going out to avoid competition.
I'm praised, but even so I'm insecure. I fear going out and ...if a man doesn't ask me to dance, or I return without a pair? One friend of mine told me I'm beautiful and I would be a show!But I don't believe in myself. When I was a teen, I didn't use to be so looked this way, as I am today. I had a hard time. That teen is inside of me yet, I think.

katiy answered on 08/18/05:

Where are you volunteering? You have so much talent, why waste it on yourself?

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/12/05 - in the headlines

If a pretty woman in her 28 years old seduces a boy of 13, they have sexual encounters, she's his teacher, and later, when foud out, she's sued, accused
of rape, and loses her teaching's license for life, goes to prison...what's your opinion about it? ...It's shocking, or not?

katiy answered on 08/12/05:

She's pitiful. It would be like me going out with one of my son's friends. Who is 19. Can you imagine how embarrassed they would be?

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/03/05 - When someone you love pass away

When someone you love pass away, how to face it? My grandma passed away two days ago. She was ill but even so I got shocked and every time someone asks me about her I cry. I tried to work today but I had to return home. My colleagues wanted to help me and asked about her and I burst out into tears. If someone talks about it, I cry. I shouldn't have gone to work today. I had to return, I was unable. I was her preferred granddaughter.
I always feel I need to be protected and losing someone you love and you know really loved you is painful.
My heart beats fast and I cry.Facing death is terrible, my father told me today I have to think she found relief and life isn't easy.

katiy answered on 08/12/05:

It will take you several months before you feel safe again. There was no one like her for you. Write her a poem in her honor.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/06/05 - Some questions

You don't have to answer, if you don't want to. I've gotta some questions:
1st- How do you cope with money?
2nd- Do you save? How?
3rd- How do you cope with credit?
4th- Have you ever had serious money problems because of spending? How did you get rid of them, and if you haven't, do you have any plans or strategies?
5th -If you resist to the appeals of consumism, how do you do it?
Thanks.

katiy answered on 08/12/05:

1. I hide it, like a squirrel with nuts.
2. I try and save 10-15% of each check in a 403B account. Plus I buy savings bonds. Plus I manage my accounts very carefully.
3. I pay something on each bill each month. I try and pay off all credit cards monthly. I don't buy it, if I don't have the money in the first place. Then I buy it on credit.
4. I am an idiot with money. That's why I hide it.
5. I only shop at the dollar store and Kohls.
6. I let my husband pay the bills, because he is immaculate with money. He is my back up plan. I leave him alone, and he manages things very well. I put the bill paying in his hands because he's better at it than I.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/12/05 - Dear friends

I don't know how to explain, I just want to thank you for the valuable advice given before and answering my questions. It was very important to me to compare. I was reading an article: credit is good mostly for the banks. They wrote: high credit+ interest= profit. Not profit for us, buyers.
Thank you again.

katiy answered on 08/12/05:

There is something called The Rule of 72. It is about saving money, and how fast it accrues. Banks are using the rule of 72, against you, and for themselves. People need to take a calculator before they make large purchases they don't have the money for, and calculate out the interest.

If you want to be wealthy, start saving 10% of each paycheck. That is the simple way. Read the book, "The Richest Man in Babylon", it will tell you age old secrets.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 08/02/05 - Coping with lack of respect

Most of times we get really stressed with lack of respect, especially if we are in a position which demands it. For sure we take the legal procedures, and we know when we are wrong, but when it is done without any reason? I can't even sleep at night. I heard that what others say is their problem, not ours. But even so I get so nervous thinking up all the answers I should have given. I think about it during days.
Thanks.

katiy answered on 08/10/05:

So what. Stop letting rent space in your head. They only said it once, you are telling yourself a thousand times. They have their own problems to consider, which are way worse than yours.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 07/29/05 - Symptoms of depression

A friend of mine told me she's been feeling symptoms of depression. She's pretty, thirty and something and a single woman. She has no kids and sometimes she is afraid if she will find a good man to be a mother, because she couldn't afford it alone. She told me she doesn't want to go out on weekends anymore, and she's been feeling tired of her kind of work. Why some women, who are beautiful, honest and intelligent, can't find at least a good boyfriend? She is also facing some financial problems and can't go to therapy at the moment. Any thoughts would be welcome.

katiy answered on 07/29/05:

Anyone can go to therapy. There's many places available for a low fee. She wants to be the way she is. As you suggested for her to go out, and she refused. Which is what most depressed people do. It takes a lot of effort to be depressed. Don't let her drain your energy.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 07/29/05 - betrayal

Jude Law betrayed his former wife with Sienna Miller. Later, he betrayed Sienna with the nanny of his children. It appeared because he's famous, which is not even fair, because men worldwide do it. He said he loved his fiancée and felt regret. I believe in him.When people act, sometimes don't think about the consequences. Are men who are doomed to be unfaithful?
Or all of us have the instincts to be unfaithful, as we are animals who think?

katiy answered on 07/29/05:

Why is Sienna Miller complaining then, about what she did, when the same was done to her? I think it's funny. No, it's the women that choose to be with unfaithful men.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
i_heart_you asked on 07/29/05 - WAY TO SHY

I am a 15 year old girl. I am very shy and i hate it because i am always afraid to do some of the things my friends do, like dance at dances and sing infront of people and speak my mind and things like that. I care to much about what people think of me and i wish i didnt. i wish i were more outgoing and not shy. I cant talk to people, i get really nervous and just dont say anything. I cant even talk to the guy that i like but i can talk to him on AOL. i dont know what to do about this...how do i become more outgoing and less shy?

katiy answered on 07/29/05:

I want you to introduce yourself to 3 new people this week, make some new friends.

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 07/16/05 - Inner peace

I've been feeling the need of being real mom, not over worried about myself and problems. I look at my little one and I know she needs me, more than anyone else. And I need her. If I stop focusing on shopping and relationships, I'll find my inner peace, with her.
Thanks for helping me to realize it.

katiy answered on 07/16/05:

You have come a long way. You are starting to focus. Keep things simple. Enjoy the simple pleasures.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 07/09/05 - doom

I want to kill myself. I feel so exasperated with my life. I cannot find a job. I have no good friends. I live at home. I am forced by my parents to go into nursing school this fall. I hate nursing because I have a severe blood phobia. I still can't find a job that I like. I feel bored all the time. I feel unhealthy and have bad aches. I need to vent on this board.



katiy answered on 07/10/05:

Thank you for expressing your feelings. Feelings are not facts.

Even though you have many fears, you will overcome them all. You are brave. You will make it. You are very successful. If you weren't, you wouldn't fell such despair. You are having a fear of the unknown. You are afraid, because you don't know how it will all turn out. You will make it, one class at a time.

Anonymous rated this answer Bad/Wrong Answer
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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/27/05 - Dear friends

I think I have to start to take care of my life. I'm glad you helped me for such long time. Somnetimes, I depend on others too much.
I'd just like to say thanks to all of you(bal, purple, revdauphinee,keenu,excon, choux, pj33, visonsinblue...) sorry if I forgot someone's name.You helped me in a way or another.
Maybe i get in contact with you from timne to time.But I'll stop asking at AW for some time. As I'll stop spending my money lavishly,going to bed on sthe first date...there's a guy who works near me, he's just said he wants to date seriously.I'm going to give him a chance. Maybe it's gonna work.I'll give it a try.
Anyway, thank you. From my deep heart.

katiy answered on 06/27/05:

Ask questions here whenever you want to, if it works for you. If it helps support you to make better choices in your life, then why give up what is working? It is better to give up, what isn't working in your life.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/24/05 - People who hurt

When someone says something kind to another, for example: "You look beautiful today!", why are there people around who make a bad commetn: "HUh, you're just flattering", or " You want to get something from it". Why are there these rude people? Envy?
It happened twice with me today and I felt really bad. I put a black blouse, my hair gets blonder when I dress black. And another said: " I don't like you in black, I prefer you with lighter colors".Why do some people interfere? Maybe they don't like to see you feeling glad with the praises. I'm a teacher and I heard it from students(the ones who praised, and I felt they were sincere, and the ones who said they wanted something-they did it in a playful way). Or maybe I'm exaggerating. I also heard I was beautiful from people who weren't my students.Sorry for bothering you.

katiy answered on 06/25/05:

If you are a teacher, why are you so concerned about getting praise for the way you dress? Shouldn't you be the one dishing out praise to your students for the work they do, instead of pondering over the praise they give you?

If I had blonde hair, I wouldn't be wearing a black blouse to school to teach in. Unless of course, you want to draw attention to yourself.

I wear clothes to be the center of attention all of the time, but don't I don't lie about it, and act like I don't know what I am doing. I just bought a pink terry cloth skirt and shirt to match it. I expect to be the center of attention when I wear it. I wouldn't wear it to speak in front of a group of people, but for casual situations. If I am speaking publically, I dress very conservatively and appropriately. I want the audience to pay attention to what I am saying, not what I am wearing.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/25/05 - The urge to buy

What can you do if sometimes you want to buy, buy and buy, and don't think about the consequences of it? Sometimes i want to buy just to return home with new items, that I forget whrn I put in my closet or when
I store them among mmy other things. And from one season to another, I get tired of them too easly.It causes me problems, because I have to pay my credit card every month and there's little left in cash to myself, just if I use the credit again.

katiy answered on 06/25/05:

I am less impressed by what someone has in their closet and more impressed by the way they manage their money, and the funds they have in their accounts.

People with a lot of money don't have much more freedom with money than you have. We are all squirrely with money. We all go absolutely nuts with it. Look at Martha Stewart. She can't even stay tethered to her mansion, bless her heart.

She was a stock broker, a trader, on the board, a shareholder, a biz owner, and yet, she cheated and lied. She knew the rules.

The rich don't have any more power over their money than the poor.

The real question isn't how much you are spending, but rather, how much are you saving each paycheck? If it is more than 10%, then good for you.

excon rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer
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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/25/05 - Adding...

I don't depend on praises. However, I hear them. I see men turning their necks when I walk on the streets and saying I'm pretty.Putting their heads off the car and sending kisses. But I am very CRUEL to myself. I'm rude and I said so harsh things to me that ytou can't imagine. I'm the worst juror I could have. I was bullied at school, when I wasn't the woman I am now. You know, brackets, etc.It made me feel bad against myself and my worst juror.That teenager still lives inside of me. If I'm bothering you with my questions, sorry.I think of my daughter. She's a beautiful blonde girl with big green eyes, very green, who looks at herself in the mirror and judge herself too. And she's ten. My parents say I have to cure myself to help her.
If now I call men's attention, love didn't find me. The emptiness is the same.

katiy answered on 06/25/05:

It's time you started to fill the emptiness. Where are you volunteering? What are you doing for your daughter that makes a difference for her? What projects are you creating for your community.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/23/05 - Dear friend

A woman who slept with more than twenty men during her life, and she is 32, can be called a not serious one? If she evre tells a serious partner the number, would it be scare him off? Or it's better left unsaid? Once I heard from a friend that with this number and at my age(young), I have lived in the old Rome.I got sad with her comment. I never tell the number to a serious partner. At the same time, I think I don't deserve a real good man because of it.
I lost my virginity with 17. Till there, I was waiting for a serious partner.My mom wanted to sue the man( he was 22). Later, I met other men, commited seriously twice, and had a child, who is 10.Now I'm a single mom, and I live with my parents. I have my profession.

katiy answered on 06/24/05:

You suffer from low self esteem. Start paying more attention to your child and parents. Let them love you. Stop putting your time and money on men that don't love you.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/20/05 - Love- Do we create?

Is love something we create?
Can we "choose" someone and think "I love this person"?
Just to know your opinion,that I do value.

katiy answered on 06/20/05:

Yes, all love is created. It is within.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/19/05 - Contradiction

When you had two dates with a guy, the second one something else happened, he calls you to see you again, you can't go at that moment, but you arrange another time, he tries to call, can't find you, but he doesn't try again and he doesn't show up... you call him some time later(months), you ask him if he forgot you,he says he is just keeping on with his life,maybe he thinks you want a commitment, but what you had with him was simply one of the best sex you've ever had and you just want to live it once more. But, as a woman, you can't say: "Hey guy, don't worry, I don't want to marry you, I just want to see you again". I think he went away because I talked about being together at some moments...but it was at that time. He's gorgeous, handsome, and it was one of the best nights of my life. At the same time, I feel if it is some problem taht i have. I shouldn't feel this way. I don't want to be driven by my urges.

katiy answered on 06/19/05:

A lot of men are sociopaths. They can only stand to be with women that reject them.

Men are sportsmen. They don't want to keep catching the same fish over and over again, they want to catch the fish that gives them the challenge.

They don't like someone that is clingy and desperate for them.

You have done well. You have kept your distance. Feel free to start flirting with him all over again. If you catch him in the right frame of mind, you can create the magic again. Just reel him in slowly. Time for you to be the fisherman. Invite him to a lunch or dinner. Invite him to a
sports event.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/13/05 - loving yourself instead of eating

my mother loved me with food growing up, I've learned that. But what do the experts mean when they say to love yourself instead of eating? Usually late at night I like to pig out on something sweet, how do you love yourself instead of grabbing the sweets? What does that even mean??

katiy answered on 06/13/05:

Yes, I know. I blame my kids for me being this fat too. I told them they owed me an apology for my fatness. They told me, like we made you eat all those cakes, cookies and ice cream cones. So, I don't blame anyone for my fatness except me.

I would suggest having healthy snacks you can eat at night.

Try dipping apple slices in Peanut butter, chocolate or carmel. Rice crackers with chutney. Celery with cream cheese and raisins. Rice crackers with dip.

Also cut up vegetables, and get baby carrots, and a dip for late at night.

I have the same problem as you.

Anonymous rated this answer Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/09/05 - "star power"

I've just read oneperson giving stars to someone to improve his "star power", and the other just flattering. I think YOU two are crazy.Go to the answer with few stars to check yourselves.Some people really make the DIRTY side of this site. And I know this post will be a generous dish for this kind of people to start their BAD taste for an argument. Ok, I'm feeding you. Start! Thanks for the good answers I got.

katiy answered on 06/10/05:

Thanks for asking questions, regardless of the rating system. I hope you got the answers you needed.

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Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 11/02/04 - Optimism

Dear friends from answerway,
I'd like to look at the positive side. You mean, I think that I won't succeed, and it's a real problem.
I get worried before things happen.I get stressed because of it.
Maybe because I don't trust on myself.

katiy answered on 06/05/05:

How are things progressing?

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 06/04/05 - Bad thoughts

Dear friends,
How to cope with the horrible sensation of feeling observed and the victim of bad comments? Sometimes when I see a group of people and they laugh when I pass by or say something I relate to myself. I get so mad about it!! For example, today I was compared to a beautiful dancer in my country. Even hearing these praises, later I entered in a store and nearby there was a group at a snack bar. When I left, I heard laughs and bad coments that i interpreted it was aimed to me. I go so deeply in these thoughts that when I arrived home I called to the store complaing, asking the clerk to go there to say a client was bothered by the people at the snack bar, saying i have a relative who is a lawyer and he'd go there. Later I called again and the clerk say she went there to complain and they didn't even know what she was talking about. Is this madness,in your opinion???

katiy answered on 06/05/05:

You are over reacting. Learn to create powerful interpretations about yourself. It is YOU judging yourself, not a group of people laughing and enjoying themselves, YOU made that, be about YOU. YOU could have just as easily interpreted the laughter as people having a good time around you, instead YOU chose to interpret it negatively.

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Question/Answer
gss30 asked on 03/02/05 - The last open post here

I know some people here will find it marvelous, but I want to say that I'll NEVER return to a question board here again.
To the people who hurt me and made me cry and AT FIRST made me feel even worse when I wrote for HELP, I'd like to say that I got very good feedback from many experts who will CONTINUE to be my friends.
I learned English only studying in my country, because despite of being well born here in Brazil my parents couldn't afford me to live abroad.Now I'm 32 and I have my job, I can go in the future. I was never arrogant to say my English is perfect and even so, some people continued trying to tease me.
Just to tell to some of these people who are experts in Emotional wellbeing, Spirituality, and even EDUCATION, because education is not only a matter of writing, but it is a way to cope with people, I'm young, I have my life ahead, please, try to write something in language which is not yours and you've never gone to this country and feel the stoned thrown by the native ones. Is that EDUCATION, EMOTIONAL HELP? I know you will repeat the old BAD,POOR answers:"Her English is outrageous, atrocious, whatever", and not to think there's a PERSON behind the computer who wrote here to SHARE, because this place was to be a place of help.I got great answers from very gentle people who made me go out from my house, with a smile and self confidence, not people who wanted to hurt. THe world hurt us enough, if there is a place for help, let's permmit it.
Please don't do it with others, I NEVER did it to anyone.I KNOW my English isn't atrocious because I CAN communicate and language is communication.You are reading me and understanding every word, aren't you? So if I'm 32 and I have my life ahead I have a lot to improve from it.
I'LL NEVER ASK ON A BOARD HERE. People can tell you what you can do to improve, it's different from being critical, harsh, without knowing the person, what she passed through.
THANK YOU for the help I got, and to the furhter bad answers from the offenders: YOU WILL BE IGNORED.
Para aqueles que me ajudaram, eu só queria dizer que amo cada um de vocês.
IT MEANS: TO THE ONES WHO HELPED ME, I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY I LOVE EACH ONE OF YOU.
YEAH, I STUDIED A LOT, AND I STILL STUDY, BECAUSE STUDENTS HATE ARROGANT TEACHERS, WHO SEEMS TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. THEY LIKE TO SEE US AS PEOPLE.
AND IF SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO ANSWERED ME BACK ARE AN EXAMPLE OF GOOD WRITING, GEE...I have my books to compare.Try to learn a language only studying, that's another advice.
BYE MY REAL FRIENDS...we'll keep in touch.
TO THE OTHERS: I'LL BE HAPPY.So happy you'd be amazed.

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

Read the book, "The Mastery of Love", it may help you.

gss30 rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
gss30 asked on 03/02/05 - The last open post here

I know some people here will find it marvelous, but I want to say that I'll NEVER return to a question board here again.
To the people who hurt me and made me cry and AT FIRST made me feel even worse when I wrote for HELP, I'd like to say that I got very good feedback from many experts who will CONTINUE to be my friends.
I learned English only studying in my country, because despite of being well born here in Brazil my parents couldn't afford me to live abroad.Now I'm 32 and I have my job, I can go in the future. I was never arrogant to say my English is perfect and even so, some people continued trying to tease me.
Just to tell to some of these people who are experts in Emotional wellbeing, Spirituality, and even EDUCATION, because education is not only a matter of writing, but it is a way to cope with people, I'm young, I have my life ahead, please, try to write something in language which is not yours and you've never gone to this country and feel the stoned thrown by the native ones. Is that EDUCATION, EMOTIONAL HELP? I know you will repeat the old BAD,POOR answers:"Her English is outrageous, atrocious, whatever", and not to think there's a PERSON behind the computer who wrote here to SHARE, because this place was to be a place of help.I got great answers from very gentle people who made me go out from my house, with a smile and self confidence, not people who wanted to hurt. THe world hurt us enough, if there is a place for help, let's permmit it.
Please don't do it with others, I NEVER did it to anyone.I KNOW my English isn't atrocious because I CAN communicate and language is communication.You are reading me and understanding every word, aren't you? So if I'm 32 and I have my life ahead I have a lot to improve from it.
I'LL NEVER ASK ON A BOARD HERE. People can tell you what you can do to improve, it's different from being critical, harsh, without knowing the person, what she passed through.
THANK YOU for the help I got, and to the furhter bad answers from the offenders: YOU WILL BE IGNORED.
Para aqueles que me ajudaram, eu só queria dizer que amo cada um de vocês.
IT MEANS: TO THE ONES WHO HELPED ME, I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY I LOVE EACH ONE OF YOU.
YEAH, I STUDIED A LOT, AND I STILL STUDY, BECAUSE STUDENTS HATE ARROGANT TEACHERS, WHO SEEMS TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. THEY LIKE TO SEE US AS PEOPLE.
AND IF SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO ANSWERED ME BACK ARE AN EXAMPLE OF GOOD WRITING, GEE...I have my books to compare.Try to learn a language only studying, that's another advice.
BYE MY REAL FRIENDS...we'll keep in touch.
TO THE OTHERS: I'LL BE HAPPY.So happy you'd be amazed.

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

Your English is great. I am sure you are twice as smart as most.

However....I am not sure about your self esteem and confidence, what are the issues there?

gss30 rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 04/07/05 - men who were taken advantage of as children

okay my bf told me when he was 7 that his sisters friend took advantage of him, and that after that he just never stopped 'having sex' with other girls. He says he was so young he didn't even know what he was doing or that he was actually having sex till he was quite a bit older.

my question is what does this do to a boy? All I can say is he has always been very shy when it comes to our sex life and I just now had the thought this might be why? I want to be very understanding, so I need some advice.

Can anyone help me understand this as I was never abused. TIA

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

Good luck, you are going to need it. Time to wise up.

Anonymous rated this answer Average Answer

Question/Answer
stiamo_bene_insieme asked on 05/03/05 - Scared of my friend

Hi
I have a problem and I hope there is someone here who can help me.
The problem is that I am scared of my friend. We have known each other since kindergarten. It all began when I told him that and he is confused and doesn' get me.
We live distant from each other and when I moved away, I tried to keep in touch with him by writing him letters. I have been writing letters for almost 8 years and he never wrote to him until last year when he sent me an email.
I don' know why I am scared of him. Sometimes, I think that I am all over him, sending birthday cards, phone him, etc... and he never did that to me. I don' think that he even knows my birthday. Then, all of a sudden I felt "" ( I don' know if I am using the right word, maybe it' anxiety?) because when I wanted to talk to him, I couldn' do it and my heart pounded so hard and my fingers cannot dial the number.
When I get a letter from him, I know that I am suppose to be happy and excited but I am not and I am scared of reading them. Usually I wait hours or days before I can read it. I am not suppose to feel this way, instead I should feel at ease. Is there something wrong with me? I have tried to understand this situation and this is the way I look at this issue. Because I feel scared of what he says in a letter or when I call him, it feels not right. Like I said before, I should not feel this way and be at ease with him but I can' do that. In a relationship whether it' a friendship or between a couple, I think that the indication of being "",it' a red flag. Like it' suppose to tell you something that it' not going right. Am I the only one to feel this way? I have tried this to him and he doesn' understand me.
Could you please help me?
Stiamo Bene Insieme

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

You are obsessed. The relationship is not reciprical. It is a one way street, being generated by you. It is alright, as long as you are willing to do all the work and get nothing out of it. Why work so hard on someone that is ignoring you, when you can get just as much, by putting effort into someone that cares and pays attention to you.

stiamo_bene_insieme rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 05/11/05 - when someone is emotionally unwell?

I don't know how to word this, my bf is almost totally unemotional. Its the way his mother raised him. He laughs a lot and likes to joke around but when it comes almost any other emotion it isn't there. He does hug me and says I love you. I've accepted this about him. But what am I giving up being with him. I feel theres something missing but I can't put it into words.

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

He's a sociopath. You are a social butterfly. Good luck, you are going to be needing it.

Anonymous rated this answer Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
Anonymous asked on 05/11/05 - Awkward conflictual situation

Hi,

Just wondering how I should handle this situation. A guy works where I work but in another building who had a second part-time as a financial advisor. We had a few investments with him, but decided to close the investments because they were losing money. I liked the guy, he was very friendly to work with and I had nothing personal against him but we had an interest in trying another form of investment. However, I just recently saw him in a building where we go for training for our jobs. I said, "Hi Frank", he looked at me with a dead stare and said nothing. He pretends I don't exist. The reason we closed the accounts was not anything personal, but now I feel uncomfortable when I see him. I would not have ignored him, but obviously he must feel disdain for me now and is making it known to be that I am going to be snubbed. Is this appropriate behavior and should his side job result in animosity where he sees be on our regular jobs?

Thanks.

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

I did that same thing you did. I got the same kind of snubbing response, only I worked in the investment co. and I wasn't going to keep my money in a losing fund. It's your money and you were smart to do what you did. If something drops by 15%, that is a good time to sell it.

Anonymous rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

Question/Answer
gss30 asked on 05/14/05 - Changes in life

Imagine you feel stressed with your job, but you have your bills to finish paying. Fortunately, you have the support of your father.Food, a place to live and comfort will be always there. But you work hard.
That's my situation. I was a fool, and I got in some debts. I'm paying them. That's why I can't quit my job, but I can keep twenty hours of it(at the moment, I'm working about fifty hours per week), while I look for something else.Twenty hours of it, I'll have forever(it's a public job, I got it through a contest).
I feel really stressed and when I think about going to work, I feel bad.

katiy answered on 05/29/05:

Tell me 3 things you like about your job.

gss30 rated this answer Excellent or Above Average Answer

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